


Just a Fairytale

by MizzGinger



Series: GoM Love Chronicles [1]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, High School, Romance, Teikou Era, Trauma, like super fluffy, weak reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-22 17:25:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 18,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12486972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizzGinger/pseuds/MizzGinger
Summary: Some would say that his love was ridiculous. You, a girl way out of his league and with many demons, couldn't possibly reciprocate those feelings he had. However, Kuroko had a history with surpassing all expectations of him.And surpass he will.Kuroko Tetsuya x [Reader] x Platonic!Nijimura





	1. [M.1] Middle School: Diary Entry One

Eyes wide and colored with a pure, vibrant blue, he stares at his new classmates as they buzz with nervous excitement. Their gazes never cease to move, inspecting one another based on the merits of their appearance.

Keeping to himself, Kuroko spectates the way he usually does. His classmates never meet his gaze, unaware of his lackluster presence. He's used to it and doesn't feel the least bit insulted. Actually, he prefers it that way... Though, there were times when he had wished for someone to take note of him. Maybe it will happen today during his first day of middle school? 

When he feels some tap his shoulder, his heart stutters at the possibility.

He turns his head to see a girl, who appears to be catching the attention of everyone in the classroom. She stands out like a sore thumb-- looking slightly more adjusted to the environment and downing a blue ribbon in her hair. 'Is she a second year?'

There's apprehension marring her features, but she's staring straight at him. "Excuse me, can you deliver these documents to your homeroom teacher?"

Kuroko glances around to make sure she is speaking to him but is quick to respond. "Y-Yes."

She smiles with relief and tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear. The scent of her shampoo wafts over and it intoxicates him. "Thank you," she bows her head and leaves him speechless and in awe.

A seed of love subtly inseminates his heart, and he has yet to know the turmoils he will face.


	2. [M.2]Middle School: Diary Entry Two

Feet tapping against the floor, pencil shaking between your fidgeting fingers. Seconds tick away, and your heart races with anticipation. 'One minute... fifty seconds... thirty seconds...'

The clock inches closer to the twelve, and your hopes are soon answered by the ringing bell. The teacher begins to stack their materials together with a heavy drone, "That's all for today. You're dismissed."

The classroom's noise escalates with relief, and you aren't an exception as you messily stuff your bag to leave.

"See you guys later," you call out to your classmates. The majority of them answer with a goodbye, but it's just noise to your ears. Without a moment to waste, you begin to make your way to the club room.

"Hey, [Name]. You have the application forms of the new recruits?" someone says from down the hallway.

You already have one foot on the stairs as you turn your head. Seeing the familiar raven-haired male, you send them a smirk. "Shuzo, yeah of course. What else would you expect?"

He shares your expression, "Can't have you slacking off so early. You're a second string manager now... Are you heading straight there?"

"No, I'm going to the clubroom first to clean. I'll catch you later at the gym."

He waves his hand to dismiss you, and you both go your separate ways.

You continue your descent, traveling down the hall and towards the bathroom for a quick change. Once you're dressed in your school jersey, you make your way to the club room without a minute to waste.

When you open the door, your enthusiasm deflates upon seeing a particular someone. "Ah, captain," you mumble.

A pair of naturally scowling eyes zeroes in on you. He stands almost a feet taller than you with brown spiked hair and a toned body. "You never gave me an answer," he speaks up, "and I was hoping you can give me one now."

It's apparent on your face how mortified you are. You desperately tried to forget about the Spring Festival two weeks ago, where the third years retired and the second years took over. It was a happy memory until you were called out by the current captain, Minato.

His confession was a weird mixture of shyness and arrogance. He was blushing yet stating how you were his ideal girl and he'd be ideal for you too. As if you took your reputation in high regards.

"Let me think about it," was your response before you ran to the safety of your friends. You thought he got the message, yet here you are, cornered and sourly mistaken.

"Ah, yes. I just want to focus on being a good manager," you explain, "and you should focus on basketball and being a great captain."

He scratches the back of his head in thought. "So it's a no?" He sounds deservedly disappointed.

"Kind of?... It's not you." Just seeing his expression waver has you feeling some sort of regret. Yes, he might have been cocky when asking you out, but he isn't a bad guy. That much you've seen during your time in the basketball club.

"So we can wait?" His voice is paved over with hope. "Until the end of the year."

"Sure," you agree, hoping that by then he would be gone before receiving your true answer.

His good mood is instantly revived, and he attempts to pull you into a hug. Your body freezes at his advance, but it's the sound of someone clearing their throat that stops him from continuing.

You both glance to the side and spot a blue-haired boy standing there. He notices your undivided attention and decides to speak, "Excuse me. I must change."

Goosebumps form on your arms as you're about to let out a scream, but Minato reacts far quicker. "WOAH! How long have you been here, kid?"

The boy's stare is solely on you, and it's then you recognize his face. "Ah, you're from class 1-B!" You are met with silence and you shift around with embarrassment. "You might not remember though..."

"I remember you."

"I'm [Name]," you introduce yourself with a breath of relief.

"Oh." He continues to stare at you. "I'm Kuroko Tetsuya."

You can't help but think how adorable his hollow stare is. "Nice to meet you."

The captain clears his throat, having long been forgotten. "There's practice, I should get going."

You watch him go in an awkward fashion and then turn to Kuroko. "You must be new." He nods slowly. "First years are in another club room, two doors down from here."

"Thank you, senpai."

"Hurry up or they'll start without you," you warn with a smile.

You're not aware of what your smile does to him as he lowers his head and nods. "Thank you."

With that low whisper, he's gone and out of sight. You're left there in wonder until you realize the time. "Ah, gotta clean!"


	3. [M.3] Middle School: Dairy Entry Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *writes so much fluffy pretending everything is going to be alright*

"[Name]! Shuzo is waiting downstairs!"

Your eyes flit over to the door for a brief second then back to the mirror in front of you. To some, it might look weird, but at the moment you were checking yourself out.

With two fingers, you pinch the fat on your arms. You grunt. Another pinch now on your thighs. You grunt. You press your nose against the mirror, body hovering over the dresser as you inspect the small bump on your cheek. _'But I washed my face yesterday night!'_

"Mooom! Do you have concealer?" you wail out. 

She doesn't answer; instead, you hear someone shuffling up the stairs, and after a brief second, Nijimura opens the door to your room. His even expression greets your compromising position, and your heart drops.

"Yo."

"Wait downstairs, I'm getting ready!"

His upper lip curls as he brushes off your demands. "Your mom said that you keep getting that stuff cause you cover up too much."

"Oh hush, I don't want to hear anything from you and your perfect skin." You glance back at the mirror. "I can't believe someone thought I was pretty enough to be confessed to," you mumble to yourself.

"You were confessed to?" His tone is laced with awe rather than disgust, but you're annoyed even thinking about the confession.

"Can we not talk about it?"

"It was a first year, right?"

"Not talking about it!" you exclaim as you grab your messenger bag and head out your room.

Once downstairs, you try to sneak past your mother with Nijimura hot on your heels... though the saying that mothers have a sixth sense rings true. Without so much as a glance in your direction, your mother grabs the back of your blazer and halts your escape. "Breakfast. Now."

You're taken to the table where your father is silently reading his newspaper and sipping on his coffee. When Nijimura scoots into the closest available seat, your father lowers the paper and gives him a firm nod. You, on the other hand, are supplied a grunt.

"...So who confessed?" Nijimura resumes the conversation, one that you had thought was sealed and never to be mentioned again. The dining area falls silent as all eyes are now glued on you. Your mouth is stuffed with eggs and rice, even though you were trying to escape the clutches of breakfast moments ago. 

You unceremoniously gulp down the food in your mouth and glare at your childhood friend. He was way too familiar with your family, enough that there are no secrets amongst you all. You had hoped that he would at least show some courtesy to your awkward love life, but nothing seemed to be going your way so far.

"You were confessed to?" your mom says with amusement. She seats herself in the last available chair with a surly smile and a shine to her eyes.

Your appetite disappears once you realize that your love life was going to be a family discussion. You place your chopsticks down harshly and sigh, "Can we not talk about it? It's weird."

"It's weird that someone confessed," Nijimura quips.

You eye your father, who is pretending to be aloof yet his attention wanders around the table. Your mother's eyes are now sparkling intently, and Nijimura seems ready to fan the flames some more. It's clear that you will only be hounded until the person is revealed. 

With a shaky cough, you gaze away from their prying eyes. "The current basketball captain..."

"Minato?" Nijimura looks unconvinced, and he scratches the back of his head in confusion. "That guy doesn't look at any girl."

"Well, he did confess!"

"Are you really that popular?" your mom chimes in, who also sounds unconvinced.

"Mom!"

"Popular, huh," your father mumbles to himself. 

"Yeah, she didn't get your unpopularity, dear," your mom chuckles. "She's got men lining up at her feet."

You abruptly stand, causing the chair to skid across the tiled floor. "OHMIGOD I'M LEAVING!" No one tries to stop you as you rush out the door with your belongings. As you exit your house in a hurry, you can hear Nijimura heartily laughing behind you, and it only worsens the blush on your cheeks.


	4. [M.4] Middle School: Diary Entry Four

"Stop. Doing. That."

NIjimura returns his gaze to you and spots the frustrated look on your face. He knows it's not because of his assistance in helping you with cleanup duty. That sort of job belongs to the first years; what he's doing is charity work for the sake of his best friend.

But his benevolence is forgotten in the midst of the boy's new annoying habit. Throughout the week, Nijimura had begun to unconsciously stare at the captain. Though Minato's title did garner the attention of all, Nijimura's staring was for a different reason. _'HE likes YOU?'_ It was odd to see his friend from kindergarten being the object of someone's interest.

You, of course, caught those gawking stares and tried to shut them down every time. You knew his reasoning behind it all, and it was downright embarrassing. Especially now that Minato began to notice.

"He's going to ask you something, and then what are you going to say?" you harshly reprimand him.

He ignores you and returns to staring, leaving you to give up with a sigh. You kneel on the floor and reach out for the nearest basketball, only for it to disappear under your touch. Letting out a low screech, you lose your balance and fall onto your bottom.

"Where'd it go?!" you ask yourself, eyes wandering everywhere in search of the ball. _'It literally was in my hands! How could it disappear?!'_

"Uh, senpai?"

It's as if a ghost had solidified and appeared before you. You're quick to recognize the perpetrator, and relief washes over you. "Y-You're good at stealth, you know?"

"I am aware." He extends his hand to help and you accept it, though he struggles to pull you up. When you finally get back onto your feet, you're handed a ball to throw into the cart. 

He's silent as helps you pick up the rest of the balls. Most of the freshmen dwindle in numbers as time passes; Nijimura leaves for the day once he notices most of the chores have been done, so it's just you and the ghost boy picking up.

Once you two finish, you notice the apprehension on the boy's face. "Um, aren't you going home?"

"I've received permission to practice after hours," he speaks up. Reaching into his pocket, he takes out a key to provide evidence. "I promise to pick up afterwards."

"Yeah?" you tilt your head. "You're a first year?"

He nods, "I am part of the third string as well."

Your confusion intensifies. "And you want to do extra training?"

He nods his head again without hesitation.

"Okay... I guess it's fine just as long as you pick up after yourself," you shrug. "Good luck... Umm..."

"Kuroko Tetsuya."

A smile graces your lips. "Yeah, good luck, Kuroko."

You turn on your heel to leave, but he speaks up suddenly to grab your attention. "Thank you!" You glance over your shoulder to see him desperately trying to keep you around. "Thank you for not laughing at me."

"...I would never laugh. No one should laugh at someone who's trying their best." Your cheeks burn at the cheesiness of your statement. "Well uh... Good luck."

You can't bear the embarrassment and scurry off, leaving the boy a blushing mess as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluff fluff fluff, ughhh my favorite genre atm


	5. [M.5]Middle School: Diary Entry Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short thing before we get into the plot c:

"Don't you think the first years are special this year?" someone brings up in the middle of laundry duty. 

You're in the midst of folding towels along with the rest of the basketball team's managers, but your concentration breaks upon hearing the question. A certain blue-haired boy comes to mind, and a smile graces your lips. As the girls all hum in agreement, you keep to yourself and recall your awe of Kuroko. 

For the past five months, the expressionless boy came to each practice with the resolve to improve. Although he failed in almost everything, he persevered and continued on to do extra practice in the late evenings. However, the training provided zero results. You wished that you could be of some use to him, but having never played basketball in your life, you had no pointers to offer him. Just words of encouragement and a smile. 

"I heard that they're thinking of making one of the first years vice-captain," the conversation continues, and it's then that your interest is peaked.

"What happened to the current one?" you join in.

They all look at one another before someone speaks up. "He's losing his cool over all the attention the first years are getting. Some say he's jealous that his abilities are being surpassed by 'children'."

You cover your mouth in hopes of suppressing your laughter. "We're all children though."

"And he's being especially childish," one manager adds.

Another gives you a curious glance before speaking up. "But I also hear that Nijimura-senpai is receiving a lot of hate on his end."

Your eyes widen as your heart hammers with anger. "Yeah?"

"The captain really doesn't like him at all and treats him horribly."

You halt your chores to give the girl your undivided attention, "That... That's awful."

All of them send you a look of sympathy, but it's a pink-haired girl that speaks up, "I'm sure you're worried about your boyfriend, senpai..."

You gasp in horror, "Nijimura isn't my boyfriend! He's just my friend since elementary school."

"A-Ah, I'm sorry for assuming such a thing," she apologizes as she bows profusely. "Everyone just kept saying it so I thought it was true! I can't believe I did something I hate..."

"Hate?"

Another girl steps in to help clarify, "Yeah, Momoi is always being confused as Aomine's girlfriend--"

"That crazy first year?!" you exclaim. They nod, and you begin to realize the dynamics. "Ah, so we're kind of in the same boat then."

She sends you a warm smile, "Sorry for the misunderstanding."

"No, it's fine. I understand that it's easy to get washed up with those rumors," you wave your hand. "But now I'm curious about this whole bullying situation..."


	6. [M.6] Middle School: Diary Entry Six

You spent the following day in a pensive state. Since you were the manager of the second string, you were stationed in another gym; therefore, you were never able to witness any this rumored bullying. Nijimura never spoke about it either, which meant that he didn't want you to know or was probably handling it fine enough that it wasn't worth mentioning-- but it still irked you. You felt like a horrible friend for not knowing about his troubles.

And to relieve yourself of that guilt, you decided to confront Minato about these rumors. If there was something weird happening, might as well ask the guy who confessed to you... It sounded like a solid plan when you had decided on it during practice but now, not so much.

You exhale loudly to replenish your determination as your eyes scan each person leaving the gym. When they land on a particular group of seniors, you steel your nerves and approach them. "Minato-senpai," you call out. The boy breaks away from his friends and focuses his attention on you with a shocked expression. "Can I speak to you for a moment?"

His friend, who you recognized to be the vice-captain, gives you a look of disgust. "Oh, it's Nijimura's girl--"

Minato pushes the boy's shoulder to silence him. "Ono..." he growls out. 

Ono grunts and rubs his shoulder as he glares at Minato. They ensue in a glaring match, but it's Minato's overwhelming authority that wins over. "Fine, I'll see you later." 

Minato sighs as he watches his friend leave. Once he's gone, he directs his attention back to you. "Sorry about that."

"... It's okay." 

"Uh, why... don't we talk over there?" He points to an area between the two gyms, which was hardly ever occupied. It was only used as a short-cut to get to and from the gyms, as well as a storage area for maintenance supplies. 

You don't think anything of the hidden destination and follow him towards the alleyway. The sunset's low tones paint the area faintly; there's enough light to see your faces but it's not lit enough to make you comfortable. However, you have this innocent belief that nothing bad will happen.

"How's the first string coming along?" you attempt at small talk.

The air is tense between you two, and he takes his time in answering. "...It's good. The first years are pretty amazing." He rubs his neck, "How's the second string? I'm sure you're doing a good job managing them."

"Ah, thanks," you blush. "They're good. The third string is especially putting in tons of effort."

Another pause of awkward silence.

"You look pretty today."

Your face heats up, "T-Thanks."

"You know... I don't believe the rumors about you and Nijimura."

"Thanks?" you blink a few times. "We're just friends... which is something I wanted to talk to you about."

There's a look of worry on his face. "What?"

"I... I hear that you guys have been rough with him," you speak in a low voice. You didn't want to sound accusing, especially after he just told you that he wasn't paying attention to the rumors concerning you. You should be returning the favor, but after sensing the hostility from the vice-captain, you knew something was off.

"Rough?" He sighs in defeat. "Yeah, Ono already got demoted because of it... He took it too far."

"What did he do?!"

The severity of your concern appears to have annoyed the usually calm boy. His eyebrows knit together as he walks towards you, pushing you closer to the wall. "Hey, you promised to date me after basketball season was over."

A sense of dread crawls up your spine and seeps into every pore of your body. "I... did."

"Yeah, so why are you so worried about him? Are you really dating him?" His tone is low and threatening, the only strand of reason in his body now broken and nonexistent.

Your heart squeezes in anticipation, "N-No! I'm just worried ab-bout my friend." Your voice is shaking with fear.

"See, this is why there are rumors about you two. You act like you're a couple," he venomously spits out. "You know what they call girls like you? Sluts."

Your back presses against the wall, and you feel tears sting the tips of your eyes. You've never been called a slut before... And you didn't think that you conducted any behavior warranting that title. To be called one at the tender age of fourteen, well, you didn't know how to handle it.

"I... What?" Your tears spill as you try to comprehend what was happening.

"Why are you crying?" he growls. "Hey, I was just stating the truth. You go around pulling along every guy and get their hopes up." He pushes your shoulder closer against the wall, forcing you to painfully stay and take the verbal abuse. It might have been an act of comfort on his part, but all it does is instill terror in you. "Stop crying!"

You can't respond, a few hiccups and whimpers escaping your trembling lips.

"You're... Stop," he pleads in a broken voice. He then covers your mouth which causes more tears to escape you.

"Senpai?" a familiar voice floats down the alleyway, and it eases your nerves slightly. Your eyes flit over to the sound of the voice and spot Kuroko standing from the distance with a panicked stare. 

Minato is taken out of his angered trance and backs away from you. "This isn't what it looks like."

Kuroko doesn't think twice and rushes over to your side, wedging himself between the two of you. He doesn't possess the same strong physique like Minato, but you feel a bit more comfortable with him as a buffer. Though Minato doesn't share the same sentiment.

"Hey, I'm not doing anything to her," he continues to defend himself. "She just started crying."

"I cannot accept what you're saying, captain. You clearly did something to make her cry."

Kuroko's unwavering stance aggravates the captain, and he begins to bitterly laugh, "H-Hey... Is this other guy also part of your string of boyfriends? Haha, you really are a slut."

Kuroko narrows his eyes. "Don't call her that."

"Shut up, you little brat," he growls as he shoves Kuroko, though he puts too much strength behind his action and throws Kuroko to the ground.

It might be an exaggeration of a reaction, but fear consumes you, causing you to scream at the top of your lungs. "STOP IT!"

Your high-pitched shout startles him and captures the attention of some that are leaving the gym. "What's happening over there?"

Relief overwhelms you when you spot one of the coaches and Nijimura coming towards you three. When your friend notices your tear-stained face and frightened expression, there isn't a sane person in the world who would go near him.

"What the fuck did you do, Minato?" he snaps, fists clenching, upper lip curling with anger.

"Enough," the assistant coach cuts in. He scans the scene-- a crying student, another on the floor, and one looking way too guilty--and is quick to grasp the situation. "... Minato, follow me."

The boy sputters out a few words but acquiesces. With his head hung low, he trails behind the assistant coach. He doesn't utter an apology to you or Kuroko, but if he had tried, there wasn't any guarantee he'd finish his sentence without Nijimura socking him.

Once they are out of sight, your body collapses to the group and you begin to cry uncontrollably. Nijimura rushes to your side, but he's shaking with unbridled fury. His violent tendencies are trying to surface, but he prioritizes you over them and remains rooted to his spot to keep you company as you sob.

Meanwhile, Kuroko watches you both as he lingers in the corner. He feels a strong need to protect you as well, but he's aware of his lack of power to do so. He isn't strong enough to help you just yet.

_But maybe one day..._


	7. [M.7]Middle School: Diary Entry Seven

Throughout the next few days, the first string is thrown into an uproar. Nijimura has been given the position of captain, while a first-year by the name of Akashi Seijuro receives vice-captain. Along with the changes, you are placed into the first string as a manager, most definitely so that the coaches can keep an eye on you as a result of **the incident.**

The switch up creates a few murmurs, but once practice starts, the superiority of skill exceeds the value of seniority. The third years are but forgotten, and it is now the rule of the young. Minato, the ex-captain, doesn't return, but you did happen to spot him a couple days ago battered and all bandaged up.

You try not to think about the incident though, opting to focus on your new position and remain hidden in the background. You only speak to Nijimura and the other managers while avoiding the entire basketball team. Whenever they get too close, a shiver shoots down your spine as tears break out.

"Are you sure you can handle being a manager of a boy's basketball team?" Nijimura asks after a month of this sort of behavior.

"I'm fine." Your response isn't exactly reassuring, but he drops the conversation as a form of mercy.

"I have to stay for a club meeting," he changes the conversation. "I can't walk you home right now, so wait for me."

You glance out the gym and notice the sun setting. It's dark out and terror freezes your body. You hate how much the small encounter has affected you, but at least you have the comfort of your best friend. "I'll wait."

He smiles softly and pats your head, then heads towards the exit with the assistant coach. You trot after them and place yourself in the lit hallway beside the club room. There's still after school activity going on as the other sports finish up their practice. You watch with a solemn expression and a unapproachable aura as people run around carefree of life's monstrosities.

An hour passes, and your stomach begins to rumble with hunger. You search your bag for anything edible, but it's then you remember how you've already emptied out its contents during lunch. Your stomach grumbles again, and without the courage to leave the safety of your spot, you remain glued to the floor while cursing at your weak self.

"[Name]-senpai?"

Your eyes wander upwards to spot a familiar boy. "Kuroko!" You spring onto your feet as a smile replaces your dull expression. "Did you just finish practice?"

He nods his head. "Yes... I was wondering how you were feeling."

You know what he's inquiring about; after all, he was never given a 'thank you' or any acknowledgment of his good deed. Nijimura didn't even notice him and had taken you straight home. Afterwards, you were shipped away from the gym he practiced in and never saw him again.

At the moment, you can tell how he desires some closure, but you aren't ready to talk about it. "...I'm hungry," you sheepishly respond as you avert his firm gaze.

"I see." There's a pause of silence that is full of discomfort. Both of you shift around in your shoes like the awkward teenagers you are. "Um, senpai?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you like to go get some shakes?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so as you can see, we shall now mention that moment as 'the incident'  
> Original. Outstanding. Awesome. Creative. Genius. Spectacular. Never been done before....jk


	8. [M.8]Middle School: Diary Entry Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sobs uncontrollably*  
> they're so cute

You sip through your straw, tasting the milky vanilla substance which satisfies your hunger. Seated inside the nearest fast food chain, you gobble down your dinner as Kuroko watches with a blank expression. Neither of you speaks, but unlike earlier, it's a comfortable silence that blankets the atmosphere. It's therapeutic and much needed.

"Are you feeling better now?" he asks after finishing his shake.

You lick your cold lips to savor any remnants of the beverage; you then clean your fingers with your napkin. "Ah, yeah. Thanks for treating me... I can't believe I forgot my wallet."

He sends you an endearing smile. "It isn't a problem. Think of it as an apology."

"Hm?"

"For not protecting you well enough," he further explains, albeit in a lower voice that's tinged with regret. "I couldn't do anything to protect you."

"Wait, what are you saying?" You wave your hands around in a state of panic. "You hardly know me-- I hardly know you. What you did, running into our argument and protecting my reputation, is above and beyond what anyone would ever do for an acquaintance."

Somehow, your words don't affect him positively. Instead, he seems gloomy about what you had said.

"Kuroko?"

"I thought we were friends," he dejectedly states.

Your eyebrows shoot up with shock. "O-Oh... I'm sorry! Um... I mean, I guess I can call us friends. We did talk when I worked in the second string gym. But I just don't know much about you." His mood is still tainted with gloom, and you hurriedly try to cheer him up. "You have any siblings?"

The question is completely out of the blue, but he can tell it's your way of comforting him. "No, I'm an only child."

"Same," you hum while thinking of new questions. "What are your parents like? Mine are really embarrassing. My mom is super nosy and likes to tease me, and my dad is normal and quiet."

Kuroko chuckles, "They sound interesting. I have a working mom who dotes on me. My father is quiet as well."

Silence follows, and it's up to you to continue the conversation. "You like school?"

"Senpai, this feels like a blind date."

Your cheeks burn from his joke-- well, you think it was a joke. Either way, you feel an overwhelming amount of embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to question you like that."

"I don't mind. I'm happy to know that someone is curious about me." He smiles to himself, and you can't help but feel drawn to him.

"Actually," you begin with a certain shyness that keeps your cheeks aflame. The look fascinates the phantom boy and he keeps his eyes fixed on you. "You've always interested me when we first met. I've never met anyone so mature like you."

He tilts his head. "You find me mature?"

"Very. My best friend--"

"Nijimura-senpai?"

"Yeah! He's been a troublemaker since we were kids. The boys that I've associated as well..." You halt and make a strained face upon realizing the implications of your statement.

Are you really a slut? Majority of your friends were male growing up. You've also been confessed to on occasion, the most popular being Minato. And now you were eating out with another guy. _'Maybe what he said was right.'_

"Senpai, please don't think badly of yourself," Kuroko interrupts your self-deprecating thoughts. "Don't let those words affect you. You know exactly who you are."

You nibble on your bottom lip as you try to define yourself. "I... I'm shy, and I don't like it when people judge others." You give him a hesitant glance and he nods, signaling that he's listening. "Because of my only friend growing up was Shuzo, I just so happened to make more guy friends... I find them easier to talk to... But! I don't get why people confess to me because I'm not that pretty like the other girls. I don't know how to use makeup, I get acne, my hair is frizzy sometimes... I'm not doing anything to get their attention, and I know it sounds really arrogant but I just don't get it!"

You finish conveying what's been lingering on your mind. You didn't mean to deliver him this word vomit, but he made it so easy to confide in him; he didn't judge you and that meant the world to you.

"I think you're asked out a lot because you're a kind person, senpai." He gives you his analysis. "It's not because of your looks, though you are an attractive person." He blushes and doesn't say another word.

Your cheeks mirror his in color, and you tuck another strand of hair behind your ear. "Thank you... Well, you're a good person too." 

"Thank you."

You writhe in your seat, having found his compliments flattering. The attention becomes far too much for you though, and you feel a need to deflect it from yourself. "I guess we have a lot of similarities....Ummm you like basketball too, right?"

His smile falters. "Yes, but I'm not that good at it."

You sense his defeatist attitude and shrug. "I mean, you can't get worse, right?"

"..."

"..."

 _'Did he get worse?'_ you think to yourself. He doesn't seem willing to answer, and you try to comfort him. "People who try their best are really cool though. Sometimes results aren't all that."

He can sense your efforts and begins to mask the troubles he feels. "I'll try to keep that in mind, senpai."

"And if we're going to be friends--" Your phone cuts you off with a powerful ring. You glance down to look at it. "Ah crap, I didn't inform him... One second, Kuroko."

You pick up your phone, and Nijimura's voice comes tumbling out. _"WHERE ARE YOU?"_

"I'm eating at the burger joint down the street," you calmly respond. "I'm with a friend."

_"I thought you wanted me to take you home."_

"Um..." You eye Kuroko for a moment. "My friend is going to take me home this time."

_"Oh, then I'll see you tomorrow then."_

"Yeah, later." You hang up and give Kuroko a pleading smile. "Do you mind walking me home?"

"Of course," he quickly accepts with a blush.

"And call me by my name without the senpai. We're friends," you add.


	9. [M.9]Middle School: Diary Entry Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cracks fingers* time to update this story

**[Third Year, Middle School]**

"Good job today," you chirp to each first-string member as you hand them a towel and water bottle. One by one, they drag their feet towards you for refreshments after a long and grueling practice.

When the vice-captain, Akashi, comes next in line, he responds to you in his usual polite tone. "Thank you for your hard work, [Name]."

You bow your head a bit as you try to keep your distance. Even though Akashi's civil approach as a leader has led to the first string being manageable, you still couldn't trust anyone here.

It's been many months since the incident, and even though a lot has changed—you becoming a third year and also the head manager of the boys' basketball team—there was still a sense of anxiety whenever the opposite sex got too close to you. You never allowed yourself to be alone in a room with them unless there was a teacher or another girl around; Nijimura, Kuroko, and your father were notable exceptions to this.

"Oi, hand me a towel!" Haizaki shouts from across the gym. He marches towards you with a swagger to his step which has you tensing up.

Unfortunately, your severe dislike of boys came off as cute to him, attracting his tireless teasing. He went to you for everything just to get on your nerves. The only reason why he never tried anything physical was because...

"Here's your towel," Momoi curtly states as she forces it into his hand.

He eyes the fabric with mild confusion. "I didn't ask you," he spits out.

"A towel's a towel," Nijimura swiftly enters the conversation with a daring glint in his eyes. It's enough for the annoying boy to begrudgingly accept defeat and escape.

_...because no one gave him the chance to._

"Thanks..." you sigh with relief.

Nijimura pats your shoulder. "Let's get this cleaned up. We have a meeting later."

Nodding your head, you return to distributing the refreshments and towels with minimal troubles. The superstars of the team are hardly an annoyance: Murasakibara doesn't give you any attention as he retrieves his water bottle, Midorima is cold and casts you a dismissive look, Aomine addresses you with a curt 'yo' while being catered by Momoi. The rest wordlessly accept what you offer with small mumbles and blushes.

The blushes don't come as a surprise to you. You recalled Haizaki stating how first string got all the perks. 'We got the hottest ones,' he once boasted, referencing the appearance of the managers. The statement made you cringe, though Nijimura told you to just ignore the sleaze. However, as much as you try to ignore him, you can't help but feel self-conscious upon hearing that sort of talk.

"Senpai?" Momoi pokes your arm, and you turn to face her. "Would you like me to stay for the meeting too?"

"No, go home. I'll come back to lock up after I do some last-minute cleaning," you smile.

"Is the captain taking you home?" she asks with concern.

"Yeah."

She exhales loudly. "Good! I just wanted to make sure you were safe..." You give her a confused look, and she speaks up hastily. "T-There's been some reports of a molester around the area."

A small smile spreads across your lips. Although you've only spoken to her about basketball and school, you consider Momoi to be a close friend. Not many girls took a liking to your cold approach to guys; they found it to be arrogant of you. Only Momoi approached your attitude with concern and understanding. You could only guess that she was aware of the incident due to her close ties with the entire club. As much as you didn't want anyone knowing about it, you felt comfortable with her having your back.

"Thanks for heads up."

"All right, see you tomorrow!" she exclaims before following Aomine out the gym.


	10. [M.10]Middle School: Diary Entry Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come on, I HAVE to include GoM during the Teiko years!

The following day you resume your afternoon routine, rolling a cart full of basketballs into the gym with a skip to your step and a whistle that follows no beat in particular. You don't notice the lithe steps that follow you until that person clears their throat.

"WAH!" you screech as your body collapses to the floor. You're breathing heavily, heart beating a mile a minute. When your eyes land on Akashi, you feel a bit of relief though it does nothing to quell your unreasonable fear. "W-What--?"

"I apologize for frightening you," Akashi coolly replies, eyes slightly widened with concern.

He offers you his hand, but you shake your head. "I... got it."

His smile remains as he retracts his hand. There's a knowing glint in his eyes as if he's aware of your fears, yet he doesn't utter a word about them. "Do you have a minute to speak?"

"What do you need?" Your eyes wander around in search of someone else, anyone else to occupy the gym.

"...We can speak outside if you'd like, or wait for Nijimura."

You take a deep breath and try to reason with yourself. 'It's just Akashi Seijuro. He's not the type of guy who will attack me.' You say that to yourself over and over again. "I can talk here."

"Right. I was wondering if you can begin accommodating a new member to the first string," he begins.

"A new member? We already finished try-outs though."

"We discovered a talent within our strings, specifically the third string," he explains. "I wanted to speak to Nijimura and the assistant coach about it, but I'd feel more comfortable going forward knowing that you were fine with it."

"I suppose. It shouldn't be too hard. I just need to add an extra order to the uniforms," you nod your head.

"..."

"Or not?"

He sighs, "I have confidence that he'll measure up."

"I see." You're confused by his statement's lack of substance, but relief consumes you when you see the rest of the first string members enter the gym.

Nijimura is the first to spot you two from the distance, but it is Akashi who is first to approach him. You watch as his expression goes from apprehensive to scowling. He doesn't seem too pleased about hearing Akashi's plans for a new member but there's a level of trust between them that causes him to relent.

"I'm glad Tetsu is getting his chance," Aomine comments to Momoi, which steals your breath. You whip your head around, feet guiding you towards them. "He's been working hard."

"You know Kuroko?"

Aomine gives you a look of surprise before responding. "You know, Tetsu?"

"Kuroko Tetsuya, right?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah!"

You're both in shock, and it's Momoi that snaps you both out of your reverie. "Akashi has taken an interest in him. He might become a new member soon."

"That's great!" you gush. "He's been working really hard!"

"Exactly!" Aomine adds in. There's a boyish excitement to his response, elating you greatly that someone else was happy for your friend.

"Kuroko is really amazing. He's funny and smart. He's a really good--"

"Oi, I didn't you were dating someone." Your excited face drops upon hearing Haizaki's voice. "Even though you're a quiet one, you're off cheating on our captain."

"Cut it out, Haizaki," Aomine scoffs. He doesn't seem too keen on the boy's teasing, having more interest in talking about his friend.

"What? I just wanna know what kind of girl our sweet manager is," he sneers. He returns to you, his smirk growing at your reaction.

Your body is wracked with anxiety the closer he gets to your form. You already had a heart attack minutes before with Akashi; your body clearly wasn't ready to endure another one so soon.

When his fingers reach out to grab the hem of your jacket, your nerves get the better of you and a lone tear slips down your cheeks. It halts Haizaki's teasing ministrations, giving Aomine time to land a firm punch on the boy's cheek.

"EH!" Momoi gasps as Haizaki drops to the floor. "DAI-CHAN!"

You step backwards to assess the situation, your body shaking under duress. The gym's occupants now have their attention focused on you, and it's then that Nijimura comes rushing in, scowl in tow and hands balled up. It doesn't take much for him to comprehend what happened, and he immediately tugs Haizaki out of the gym.

"Come here, you little shit," he growls.

There's a scream of pain in the distance, causing you to flinch. However, it doesn't appear to affect anyone else as Momoi resumes to chastising her childhood friend. "Dai-chan, when I said that we had to protect senpai, I didn't mean it like that," she groans. "Honestly! You're jeopardizing your position."

He shrugs, "I did the first thing that came to mind... Besides, none of the coaches are here yet."

"That was incredibly stupid," Midorima joins the conversation as he fixes his glasses. "Using your dominant hand like that."

Murasakibara treads over with weak interest. "Ne, did you really have to do that? We need all of our energy for practice today..."

Aomine waves his arm around like it's no big deal. "I actually feel more pumped."

Akashi also swings by but with no words of repercussion for Aomine. "Are you all right, [Name]?"

You don't answer as you glance around them with swirls in your optics. 'How are they acting so normal?! He just punched a guy?! A-And no one cares!'

_It was a fact: boys were really scary._


	11. [M.11]Middle School: Diary Entry Eleven

"My friend might join the first string soon," you speak up during your trip back home. 

Nijimura walks beside you, bag slung over his shoulder with his usual solemn expression. Upon hearing your comment, he musters up whatever energy he has left to respond. "You mean the kid Akashi found?" He doesn't appear all too interested in what his vice-captain had to say earlier and it shows.

"You should give him a shot."

"I wasn't against it," comes his curt reply. You give him a suspicious look, and he lets out a sigh. "I just don't understand you..."

"Eh?"

Glancing up at the sky, he continues traveling forward as he pieces together an explanation. "I don't understand how you're hating on almost all guys one minute, and the next you're actually friends with one."

Your eyes narrow. "What's wrong? I don't feel uncomfortable around one other person than you, big deal... Where are you going with this?"

"I'm saying that you need to get over this small phobia of yours. I don't even know if I can call it a phobia--"

**WHACK**

"H-HEY!"

Having landed a harsh blow to his side with your bag, you send him a harsh glare. Tears line your angered eyes, whether it be from hurt or frustration you weren't sure.

"I don't know what it is either! I can't explain it! B-B-But you can't just tell me to get over it!" you exclaim. "If it were that easy, I would have been cured a long time ago!"

Nijimura holds his tongue and gazes intently at your shivering form. He's trying to take a diplomatic approach but you're emotions are too riled for anything to be resolved. Matters only become worse the minute you turn on your heels to escape.

As you run off, he lets out a low growl and debates on whether to follow you or not. One minute passes and then two. "Damn it." He faces the opposite direction of where you ran off and continues on his way home.

**[___]**

You stomp through the vacant suburb streets. With the sun gone, your only source of light are the flickering street lamps that decorate the sidewalk. It's an eerie setting that doesn't register in your brain, the hurt of Nijimura's words obscuring all your worries. 

 You only begin to realize your surroundings the moment you trip over a crack on the sidewalk. Balancing yourself, your senses come to and you glance over your shoulder to see if you were alone.

_'He didn't follow?'_

Of course he wouldn't. He didn't pander to your foolish actions; he wasn't like that at all. You were just an idiot that depended way too much on him. Now here you are--alone and frightened.

"Screw him," you say to yourself in hopes of instilling some margin of bravery in yourself. You tighten your grip on your bag and rush down the sidewalk in search of food. Though you only possessed a fraction of an idea of where you are, your feet demonstrate otherwise.

They're taking you left and right, from one street to another. Your heart begins to hammer against your chest when everything begins to look unrecognizable. Once you were completely lost, your senses become heightened. Any noise has you jumping, and whenever you pass by a stranger, you feel on edge and suspicious. 

It's a terrible way to act, and you hate yourself all the more for it. But as you've said before, you couldn't just 'get over it'.

And it's a founded fear as you bump into a foul smelling man. His suit is in disarray, untucked and stained. He's slouched over and emptying the contents of his stomach in the middle of the sidewalk; it's clear that he's had a little too much to drink earlier throughout the day, and you want nothing to do with it.

Keeping a steady eye on him, you step around him and continue walking forward. There's a sigh of relief when you make it five feet past him, but it's a celebration short-lived as he calls out to you.

"Whrryy ya loookin' at meee like dat, gurlie?" he howls out. He's finished vomiting, his agitated attention focusing solely on you.

Your lower lip trembles and the prickly feeling of trepidation nips at your nerves. Just like always your feet cement themselves to the ground even though your brain is screaming at you to run. Paralyzed, you allow him to inch closer to you, and the smell of alcohol fills your nostrils.

"YAA HAVE A PROBLEM?!" He's in your face and you're frozen to the core. Tears are now staining your cheeks, legs wobbling under the pressure.

_'Why can't I move?'_

Your brain replays flashbacks of your trauma-- that moment when you were cornered and verbally accosted. It's terror like this that makes you wish you weren't born. You didn't know how to handle situations like these, so why were you always thrown into these sort of things?!

"[Name]?!"

It's like deja vu all over again. That polite tone that cradled your name, it was the relief you needed to return to reality. You grab your bag and fling it at the man's face, forcing him towards the floor.

Kuroko comes into your vision and he reaches out to grab hold of your wrist to take you away. The man's aggravated shouts burn a hole in your memory, but you follow quickly behind your savior while sobbing.

_'Why can't I be brave?!!'_  you yell at yourself. You continue to drag people into your mess when all you could have done was run away. You feel like a burden, a pathetic excuse for a person. If only you were strong like Momoi or Shuzo!

"[Name], are you all right?" Kuroko asks once the both of you are in a well lit and public area. People are watching you two as they pass by, though you're sure they're looking more at you than him.

You can only offer a harsher sob in response, but he's kind enough to accept it. With a gentle squeeze of your wrist, he guides you towards the nearest fast food restaurant and orders for you. 

Just like last time, it's an order of two vanilla shakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bless kuroko ;w;


	12. [M.12] Middle School: Diary Entry Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit longer of a chapter this time around cause those babies need time to get closer c:

You're escorted to a vacant table, away from prying eyes. Even though the window overlooked a bustling street, it calms your anxiety to the point that you can enjoy your shake and allow your worries to melt away.

Meanwhile, Kuroko remains vigilant, keeping his gaze steady on you or out the window. There isn't a single initiative to begin any sort of conversation, and it stays that way for more than an hour. The boy must have an unlimited supply of patience to keep still for that long, but when you finally come to, you muster up a small smile.

"I... guess you caught me at a bad time again," your voice comes out weak, and it pains him just a little to hear.

"Do you feel better?"

You nod your head then take a sip of your shake.

"Where was Nijimura-senpai?"

"We had a fight--"

"That doesn't mean you should wander around these parts when it's dark out," he gives you a stern expression. "You should have returned home."

"I know... I just wanted something to eat."

"Straight home."

You can feel the onslaught of tears again, now caused by Kuroko's concern for you. "I... thought I could handle it on my own," you explain between hiccups.

However, he's having none of your excuses. "You know your feelings better than all of us. Was it really all right for you to go off on your own?"

Your face strains to stop yourself from ugly-crying but the tears keep coming. "No!"

"Exactly. Please take yourself into consideration a bit more, [Name]-senpai," he firmly tells you while handing you several napkins.

You wordlessly accept them and blow your nose, ignoring all mannerisms taught at such a young age. You clean your face up, dabbing at the ends of your eyes and nose for any leftover evidence of your breakdown; you then give Kuroko a nod.

He breaks into a smile, "I'll take you home then."

There isn't a bone in your body that fears his statement. When he reaches out for your hand, you instinctively grab it-- well, you grab hold of his sleeve, but nevertheless, you allow him to escort you out the restaurant and back into the busy streets.

He avoids the nightmarish street, taking an alternative route with more lighting. It's a kind gesture, though you can't help but tread forward with both hands on his blazer. Your eyes wander everywhere while sweat accumulates under your arms.

When you finally reach your house, your nerves are tranquilized by the sight. Letting out a sigh of relief, your steps become less reserved as you make your way to the gates of your home. Before you enter though, you face Kuroko with a small smile. "Thank you for rescuing me today... and for feeding me and being there for me."

"Anytime."

Your fingers twitch with expectancy... expectant of what, you aren't too sure. But your body wants something from him. "Um... Kuroko?"

"Yes?"

"C-Can I hug you?"

The night's obscure lighting veils his flushed cheeks, and all you can see is him slowly nodding his head. Though you feel a need to explain yourself, you decide to focus your attention on the act of hugging. Outside of your family, you never really hugged another male... Nijimura never hugged you, and neither did any guys that approached you.

But for some reason, you wanted to feel the comfort of Kuroko's touch. You weren't afraid of him, and maybe... just maybe this will help mend your worries. It was certainly worth a try, and if you got too scared, you could scream for your parents.

With a determined scowl, you extend your arms and wrap them around his torso. Kuroko quickly stiffens but then returns the favor, albeit in a cautious manner and with a warning. "I will be hugging you now."

You shake your head, giving him permission to hug you back. However, you're lost in his warm embrace and your head feels warm and fuzzy. It's an intoxicating feeling being hugged, and the brief smell of sweat and shampoo keeps you anchored to him.

You want to break down and cry. You want to hug him forever. You want to rely on him, smother him, kiss him, love him.

You feel so at peace in this embrace that it's chilling to think that this was coming from a boy. You wonder if Nijimura's hug would ever feel this good. Maybe you'll hug him some other day, but for now, you want to relish in this embrace.

"[Name]...Do you feel better now?"

You detach yourself from him with a light pink hue to your cheeks. "I'M SORRY! I-- I don't know how long I should be hugging you!"

Kuroko coughs in his hand and tries to retain his usual tranquility. "Not a problem. I quite enjoyed it."

You break out into a fit of giggles, "Haha, me too!"

"Well, I must be off. My mother tends to worry when I'm out for too long," he states.

You owlishly blink, "But you're a boy."

"Bad situations happen to all genders." He checks his phone, probably texting his mother that he's safe. He then returns his attention to you. "It happens to those who are strong and those who are weak."

"I see."

"[Name]?" he raises his hands, "Fighting."

"O-Oh."

He leaves you confused yet enlightened. A weird mixture of emotions but you feel better at least. Just as you turn to open the gate to your home, you hear the sound of someone running towards you.

Your heart stammers for a quick moment, but the sight of Nijimura returns you to normalcy. "Shuz--"

"YOUR MOM CALLED!" he yelled. "YOU..." He stops his fury upon seeing your reddened eyes. "Damn."

You realize what he must be thinking and shake your head. "I didn't cry that much because of you... Something happened when I ran off."

His eyes widen, "What?"

You didn't want to rehash the past, but it wasn't something you wanted to hide from him either. "Some drunk guy was trying to pick a fight with me."

Nijimura lets out a long sigh as he slaps his forehead with his palm. "SHIT! I should have followed you!"

You don't know what to say. Maybe none of this would have happened if he stayed by your side, but you learned quite a lot from today. "It's okay. My friend helped me... I'm okay."

He wants to believe you but it's hard to when just hours ago you both had a fight about this. However, you look somewhat changed, somewhat stronger from when he last saw you and it's enough for him to drop the conversation.

Though, he still feels a need to clear the air. "[Name], what I said earlier, I didn't mean it like that." He scratches the back of his head as he tries to be more considerate with his words. "I just wanted to tell you that you need to rely on yourself more."

"I don't ask for your help. What you do is of your own volition." You seal your lips shut for a moment when you realize how harsh that came out. "T-That doesn't mean I'm not thankful for your help."

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't. What I said before was also pretty awful."

There's a moment of awkward silence and then finally someone decides to speak.

"When I brought up your fear, I didn't mean to undermine it," he says. "There are going to be times when I can't protect you, so you need to start doing things on your own. I don't mind you relying on me, but I'd feel better knowing that you are taking the initiative to do something."

"An initiative?"

"Yeah, buy pepper spray or learn to fight," he shrugs. "It all starts with you."

You nod your head in wonder. "I suppose you're right... Thanks, Shuzo."

He gives you a curt nod before leaving. Once his silhouette fades into the night, you turn on your heel with this newfound determination.

_'Maybe I'll take a small step forward... Pepper spray, it is then.'_


	13. [M.13]Middle School: Diary Entry Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise more content soon, just trying to get a transition in there ;o;

Your gaze is wide with awe. Upon seeing Kuroko enter the first string gym, you feel as if a miracle has happened. After more than a year of practicing, he's finally made it to the first string gym.

You watch as Akashi strides up to Nijimura with Kuroko in tow, and the look on the blue-haired boy's face says it all: he's ready to be a part of something bigger. Once they make it to Nijimura, you notice your best friend do a double-take before acknowledging Kuroko.

To get a better view, you trot over to them as they converse with the assistant coach. You're clutching your clipboard, anxiously awaiting for your eyes to meet his. And when they do, you smile brightly and give him a short wave. His face bleeds different shades of red before returning to its usual pigment.

When he finishes his conversation, he diligently walks over to greet you, "Hello."

"So you're finally here," you hum with delight.

Whispers surround the both of you, many of which you can hear.  _'[Name]-senpai is actually talking to someone?' 'Is she talking to herself?' 'What's happening over there?'_

It rattles your nerves and hesitation creeps up your spine. "Umm good luck. I'll be cheering you on."

Kuroko nods his head and returns to the coach. As he readies himself, Nijimura travels to your side to watch. "So this is the kid you were talking about. He looks harmless, not sure if he'll be a good player though."

You send him a glare. "He's a very good player! Akashi recognized him, didn't he?"

"...Hn."

There's an odd look on his face, and after having known him for so long, you can tell that something was up. "Shuzo?"

"I'll talk to you about it later." He knows he can't hide things from you, but it's his way of buying time. "Let's just focus on this new member."

You find it difficult to do so as throughout practice your eyes stay glued to Nijimura's silhouette. There's concern etched in your expression, and the only ones who notice your stare on him are those powder blue optics.


	14. [M.14]Middle School: Diary Entry Fourteen

"Are you sure you don't want to join, [Name]-senpai?" Momoi asks once more. She's wearing her cutest pout and doe-eyed expression, but the boys surrounding her have you wary.

Akashi, Midorima, Aomine, Murasakibara... All ready to celebrate the new addition to the team. Some didn't seem all too excited about it, one is neutral, and the other is grinning ear-to-ear. You weren't sure if you wanted to handle this exciting lot, especially not when Nijimura was holding some important information from you.

He will bury that information if you didn't act on it now. If it meant skipping on Kuroko's welcome party, then so be it.

You glance at Kuroko, who is animatedly chatting with Aomine. "I really need to go do something. I'll come by another time."

"Travel safely then, [Name]," Akashi replies. The rest state their goodbyes in their usual manner, but it's Kuroko's subtle disappointment that causes your heart to squeeze with grief.

"Another time then."

A bitter smile is all you can give him, "Mhm!"

"All right, let's go," Nijimura sighs as he stands right by your side. When you give him the okay to go, he directs his attention to the other six, "Don't get into too much trouble."

"Don't worry, Nijimura-san. There will be no troubles," Akashi says with the most certain tone.

You give them a small bow before following Nijimura down the street and in the opposite direction of the gang. Their stares remain on your backs until you disappear from sight.

"They're always together," Momoi comments. It's an off-handed comment that no one thinks anything of, except Kuroko, who can't help but feel a surge of pain.

Meanwhile, you're walking as fast as possible to keep up with Nijimura's pace. He's clearly avoiding your pleading looks even though he promised to tell you about his troubles. He already bought himself a few hours; now's the time for him to come clean.

"H-Hey! You're going too fast!" you exclaim after you almost lose him a second time.

He stops and turns on his heel, spinning to face you with an angered expression. "You walk too slow."

"Why are we in a hurry?" you ignore his comment.

His eyes narrow while an internal debate ensues. He has mixed emotions about divulging his truth, but ultimately your bond with him wins over. "My father got hospitalized yesterday."

You weren't expecting something this important to come out and stutter out your response, "W-What happened?"

"It's his heart..." There isn't a clear emotion on his face, having been sealed over with a cold veneer. He's holding himself together as best he can, and he's doing a damn good job of it.

You're a different story though. "What's going to happen to your siblings and mother? Isn't your dad the one providing? H-How are you going to worry about basketball?"

"I don't know," his words come out with an edge to them. "I don't know... I'm still figuring out things."

You lower your gaze onto your shoes. The penny loafers your mother took an hour to shine are still glossy from her love. The small pennies that your father took hours to carefully install are still present. A world without one of them... It sounded lonely.

"I... You need a hug."

Nijimura raises one eyebrow as his upper lip curls into its signature pout. "Huh?"

You raise your arms, "It helps."

He gives you a hesitant look but having felt guilty for some of your troubles, he capitulates into your arms. "This is really dumb."

You giggle and give him a firm embrace. There's a comforting warmth to it even though he isn't hugging you as strongly. It's a light hold on your frame, but it's enough to feel pleasant. It didn't give you the same strong surge of emotions like Kuroko's but it makes you both feel reassured.

Reassured that there will always be someone by your sides, and with that, Nijimura feels that he has enough strength to continue on with basketball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screams*plsdontshipthosetwoI'llhaveseriousproblems*endsscream*


	15. [M.15]Middle School: Diary Entry Fifteen

You never enjoyed the stares of others, but today, in particular, you're frightened by them. The stares are accompanied by the low murmurs of your name along with Nijimura's; at the mention of them, your heart hammers with trepidation.

_What did I do to acquire such attention?_

There's a poke to your side and you jump in fear. Your eyes wander around the somewhat vacant gym until they land on a pair of recognizable round eyes. "Kuroko?"

"How are you doing?"

You tilt your head, "Why do you ask?"

His eyes widen by a small increment as if he just realized something. "Haizaki is spreading a rumor around about you and Nijimura-senpai."

Your eyebrows knit together, "About what?"

"That he saw you two..." He scans the area for eavesdroppers, coughs into his fist, and then gives himself mental reassurance. "He said he saw you two kissing."

"K-KISSING?!" Your cheeks flare up like police sirens in the night. Bright and alarming.

You don't have time to deny the accusations as Nijimura comes throttling in with a heated expression. "Where's that little shit?!" He's a man on a mission, and that mission is to obliterate the sorry excuse of an elite player.

"Oh, I suppose that's settled then," you fan your cheeks.

"It is odd for Haizaki to be saying these things," Kuroko adds with little emotion. "He was never one to spread rumors."

"You're too kind to defend someone like him," you force out a laugh. He doesn't budge from his opinion, and you try to be a bit more empathetic. "Well... I guess if he saw us yesterday, he might have misunderstood."

"What... happened yesterday?" He sounds somewhat frightened as if he doesn't want to hear the answer.

"We had a moment and hugged. Shuzo was feeling down about something, and I thought that a good hug could fix things... Just like how we hugged." There's a bashful look on your face after having said that, and it causes his heart to malfunction.

"I-I see." He tries his best to recover, but it's difficult when you're all he sees; when you're all he thinks about. "I need to start my drills now."

"O-Of course!" you say a little louder than expected. "Go on then."


	16. [M.16]Middle School: Diary Entry Sixteen

Everyone had noticed your gradual change in demeanor. There was a visible ease to your movements, one that had been absent for quite some time. Whenever a boy approached you for water or what not, you didn't flinch or freeze up. Your stuttering is now but a distant memory.

They've also noticed the cause of your change: Kuroko Tetsuya.

The both of you were always the first ones at the gym to prepare and the last ones there to clean. At times, you would be accompanied by Momoi or Nijimura, but the majority of the time it was only the two of you. Your time together was spent conversing as you learned more about each other... And today is no different.

"Where is Nijimura-taichou?" Kuroko asks as he peers around the vacant courtyard while walking beside you. Usually, he would be here waiting for you to head home.

"He must still be held up in his meeting." It was the only explanation to his absence, and you let out a sigh. "You go on ahead. I'll wait here."

Kuroko doesn't waste a second in denying your request. "I will wait with you... if you don't mind."

"You don't have to do that, you know," you smile, easily succumbing to his request. He returns the smile and sits beside you on the bench.

"I want to, senpai."

There's a hidden meaning to his statement, but it flies over your head as you begin another conversation. "So what are your plans for the weekend?"

Kuroko ponders on the question for a brief moment, "The park."

"Ohh! You'll be practicing some more?"

"Yes with Aomine."

You nod your head, "That sounds nice... It kind of makes me jealous." Kuroko turns to face you with mild confusion in his optics. Your gaze doesn't meet his and you continue speaking, "I have so much studying to do before those entrance exams."

"Ah."

"Mhm," you hum. There's a long pause of silence, so long that you feel the need to see what's up with Kuroko. In a swift motion, you turn your head to face him but freeze when you feel his warmth so incredibly close to your face.

Your heart skips a beat, his breath tickling your nose. It's then you begin to notice how tall he's grown from the last time you had properly inspected him. His pale skin is smooth, and the light scent of sweat and detergent intoxicates your senses. You're mesmerized by his eyes--though vacant in appearance, hold so much vibrancy in color and emotion.

There's a pink dust settling on both your cheeks, but neither of you pulls away. It's as if an enchantment was cast, causing this need to stay in place. However, there isn't a single ounce of effort to move in closer either.

Time stops within that brief minute, but that moment of serenity crashes at the sound of someone clearing their throat.

You pull away just as quickly as he does, and you glance up to see Nijimura. He's avoiding eye contact, his hand still resting on his face from his fake throat clearing. "I'm back..."

"O-Oh!" You shoot up onto your feet. "Welcome back!"

Kuroko doesn't speak as he's still in shock from what had transpired. His face isn't visible to any of you, but the glowing red on his ears is a clear sign of his embarrassment.

Nijimura fixes his gaze on you. He's piecing together what could have happened, but you seem the least fazed about it. "What did you do?"

"Kuroko has the prettiest eyes," you grin. "I just couldn't stop looking at them."

Nijimura returns his stare on Kuroko, who by now has swallowed his embarrassment and replaced it with an unreadable expression. "I see... Well, let's get going."

You eagerly nod your head and twirl around to say your goodbyes. "I'll see you tomorrow, Kuroko. Thanks for staying with me."

"Of course," he croaks out.

Nijimura nods his head when he passes Kuroko and doesn't look back as he takes you away from him. Even though you appeared to be glued to the younger boy, it was evident that you were much more enthralled with Nijimura.

But it was just another hurdle to jump.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cant, they so cute ;w;


	17. [M.17] Middle School: Diary Entry Seventeen

Nibbling at your pencil's eraser, you attempt to solve your math homework. Deep into concentration, you don't hear your mother open the door and allow someone in. It isn't until they clear their throat do you tear your eyes away from the blank sheet of paper.

"Shuzo?" You tilt your head when you spot his hard gaze on you. "What's the matter?"

"I have to talk to you about something." He seats himself across from you at the small table in your room.

If he was delivering the news in person, it had to be bad. "Is it your dad?"

There's tension in his facial features, and as always he's good at keeping himself together amidst his burdens. "Yeah, he's gotten worse. We might need to take him to America."

"A-America?!" you gawk while sliding your homework away from your sight. "He's going to go by himself? Or are both your parents going?--"

You have so many questions for him, and he's aware of that as he's quick to answer. "We decided it best that I go with him. As soon as I graduate, I'll transfer to an American high school."

"But your English isn't that great--"

"[Name]."

"You can't just leave your siblings like that--"

"[Name]."

"What about your basketball team?"

"[Name]."

"YOU'RE LEAVING ME AS WELL!" you raise your voice as you spit out your true concern.

Nijimura snaps and slams his fist against the table out of frustration. "Dammit, this is what I was worried about. I told you that you had to stop relying on me so much."

You press your lips together as you realize how selfish your outburst was. There's a moment of silence as you bask in your shame while Nijimura tries to find the right words to ease your nerves.

"My siblings are going to be fine. They promised me that they'll keep my mom safe... I'm having Akashi become the captain since he's more focused on the team than I am."

You jump to your feet and muster the fiercest glare possible. "What are you doing?! Why are you giving up everything? It doesn't seem fair to you--"

"It's my dad," Nijimura breathes out though it comes out cracked and weak. He doesn't face you, but you can tell that it's taking him everything he has to hold himself together. It's a side you've never seen to him, and it has you weak in the knees--literally.

You collapse back onto the floor as you ponder on how to console him. You don't want to give him a hard time or cry. The best remedy you can think of is physical contact as it had helped many times in the past.

You reach out and grab hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly. "Don't worry about me," you whisper. "I'll miss you so much but I'll be fine. I'm doing a lot better with my anxiety, and I'm relying on myself a lot more." You weren't sure if that was true, but you were desperate under his broken stare. "I'll be all right, so go to America."

He squeezes your hand back and gives you a sigh, "Thank you, [Name]. I... feel better hearing you say that. I guess I'll have no regrets knowing that you'll be safe."

You force a smile, "I'll be fine without you, Shuzo. I promise."

_It's an empty promise that you wished you had never said._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Although she lied to make Nijimura satisfied with his choice to leave, you guys think she should have done that? :c


	18. [M.18]Middle School: Diary Entry Eighteen

"There's a newmember entering the first string."

You stop cleaning the basketball in your hand to give Akashi an owlish look. "W-What?"

"His name is Kise Ryouta," he continues. He knows you heard him, you were just in a state of shock.

"I wasn't consulted on this." You stand up from the floor to face the new captain of the basketball team.

Honestly, Nijimura's demotion did sting when he had first consulted you on it. His father's condition continued to worsen over the months, affecting the boy's mental state. Not many noticed his declining performance but you did. And as humiliating as it might be for him, it would be much more painful losing his family and nationals due to a lack of focus; the guilt would be too much.

Although he wasn't officially appointed as captain yet, they had already decided on Akashi to be his replacement. It was unprecedented for a first year to hold this position, but the boy did exceed in leadership.

"I am consulting with you now, [Name]," Akashi counters smoothly.

You pay special attention to the tone of his voice. It sounds calculating and strong as if everything he asks of you is an order. "No... You're telling me that there's another member."

"Is there a problem?"

It's a loaded question judging by his tense smile and narrowed eyes. You're paralyzed under his intense gaze; you feel like a bug being squashed under his feet and you can't speak. You attempt some movement and shake your head, eyes glistening with fear. 

He can discern your discomfort within seconds and feigns concern. "I apologize if I might have said something wrong, [Name]. My intention was only to inform you of our new member so that you can accommodate him properly."

You nod your head weakly.

"I know my appointment to captain is late in the season, and my approach will not be similar to Nijimura-san's... It might be an inconvenience to you adjusting to different styles as well," he explains.

Your throat is still clamped, but you continue to nod in hopes of him leaving you alone.

"... You're busy," he finishes, having given up on his attempt to smooth things over with you. "I'll speak to Momoi about it." He leaves without another word.

You don't have the courage to stand anymore and you drop down to the floor. 'When did he get this scary?!'

The club room resumes its normal silence, and all that can be heard are the sounds of people enjoying their after-school sports. It's a noise you grew up with after following Nijimura around for so long.

_'I'm going to America for high school. I need to be with my father.'_

A lone tear slides down your cheek. "What am I going to do without you, Shuzo?" you cry to yourself. As much as you hate to admit it but with him gone, your crutch will disappear. And as much as you understood his reasoning behind leaving, you can't help but feel selfish and want him stationed to your side forever.

A choked sob escapes you. You can't contain those dark thoughts that tormented you whenever you were alone. Those self-deprecating thoughts... they loved to leave you feeling anguished with hatred towards yourself.

But there is a light that shines and blankets your fears. "[Name]?"

You jump and send the boy a startled expression. "K-K-Kuroko, what are you doing here?"

"Akashi instructed me to get the basketballs," he replies slowly. He's stunned to see you, even more surprised to see you crying. "How are you feeling?"

You wipe your tears with minimal effort and chuckle, "You know, people usually ask me if I'm okay."

"But you clearly aren't," he quips as he lowers himself to the floor.

Your lips tremble. "Kuroko!" You break out in tears and hug the boy tightly. He accepts it upon impact, firmly wrapping his arms around your shoulders. When you bury your head in the crook of his neck, his face is dyed in the deepest shade of red.

He gives you a moment to exhaust your worries onto him, his t-shirt paying the price of it all. When your sobs marginalize, he speaks up in a kind voice, "I think we're going to be late delivering those basketballs."

You let out a snort, "Yeah." You don't want to let go of him but you have to. Peeling yourself away, you face his reddened state and smile. "You won't leave me, right?"

Again, you allow your selfishness to overcome you, but Kuroko is far too generous to notice. "Never."

Your fingers entwine with his and your heart overflows with warmth. You both stare at each other with nervous smiles and blushing cheeks, but there are different emotions behind each smile.

One longs for a replacement, while the other longs for love.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ughhhhh you know this isn't gonna end well x_x;;


	19. [M.19]Middle School: Diary Entry Nineteen

"You're staying behind again?" Nijimura asks in shock.

"I have a few things to do with Momoi, and then I'll head home," you reply with a nod.

Conflicted, Nijimura scratches the back of his head as he ponders over what to do. "Are you sure you don't want me to wait for you?"

"No, go visit your dad. I'll swing by the hospital to see him when I finish here."

"By yourself?"

"I'm capable of performing some things alone," you pout.

"Okay, okay." Nijimura smirks as he ruffles your hair. "You're growing up, huh?"

You slap his hand away before making a sad attempt to recover your hairstyle. "I have to... Can't be relying on you too much."

"[Name]... Senpai," Kuroko calls from afar.

You glance over your shoulder and smile at the boy. "I'll catch up with you later, Shuzo."

"See ya," he responds as he watches you run off towards the boy. "I wonder if she knows..."

Wanting to give you the benefit of the doubt and believe in that promise you made to him, Nijimura proceeds to head to the hospital. There's no way you would do anything to upset him. You guys have been friends for so long; you know how disappointed he would be if he found out you were using Kuroko's feelings as a replacement for him. 

But you promised and so he shouldn't worry.

[_____]

"You're meeting with Nijimura-senpai after this?"

Once you finished supervising the clean up of the gym, you begin to get ready for your trip to the hospital. Kuroko's question breaks your concentration, and you tilt your head.

"Ah, you overheard?" You don't seem that surprised by it and decide to explain. "Yeah, some things are happening in his house right now. I'm trying to be a good friend and support him."

"You've also been avoiding him in school lately."

You flinch at his comment. "Yeah?"

"I can tell since I've been observing people as of recently."

"I see."

"Is there a reason to avoid him?"

You shake your head, "It's nothing bad. I just think there should be some degree of separation sometimes... Plus, I'm enjoying my time spent with you."

Your explanation brings hope into the boy's heart, and his eyes widen at the revelation. He's been dutiful by your side for so long... Is it possible you are attaining feelings for him?

"[Name]--" He wants to make his feelings known as there might be a possibility of you accepting them.

"TETSU-KUUUN!" Momoi's breasts press against Kuroko's back and her arms wrap around his torso. He's taken aback by her zealous greeting, but his emotions are always stable when it comes to her.

"Momoi, what are you doing?"

"I'm just happy to see you... Oh hello, senpai!" She sends you a wave, a blush tinting her cheeks and you can only imagine it's from hugging Kuroko.

"Hi," you offer her a kind smile.

She's quick to switch her attention back onto Kuroko with an excitement that won't quit. "I'm still treasuring the winning stick you gave me!"

"I see, thank you." He nods his head with little care. "You should turn that in for a prize."

"I can't bring myself to do that," she moans with a pout. "It means a lot to me!"

You're confused by her sudden interest in the boy, and you feel a grumbling monster in your heart. You watch their interaction with a cautious smile as you feel no need to express any of your true feelings.

_What were your true feelings?_

"Senpai?" Momoi tilts her head, and you let out a gasp.

"Sorry, what?"

"I was asking if you wanted to join us. The rest of the group is headed to the convenience store again," she states, her arms now wrapped around Kuroko's arm.

Kuroko does nothing to stop her affection, but his eyes are steadfast on you. It's as if you're the only person he sees. "I-- I can't. I have to go visit someone in the hospital."

"Ohhh," Momoi sends you a look of empathy and doesn't press the issue. "Let's go then, Tetsu-kun."

"Actually, I promised senpai I'd accompany her," he declines her with little remorse.

"Is that so?" Her eyes dart between the two of you as her smile widens. "You're so kind, Tetsu-kun, taking care of senpai and all!"

Before Kuroko can modestly object, you join in. "He is!"

Kuroko doesn't fight it and basks in the glory of your compliment. It takes him a moment to snap out of it, and when he does, he tries his best to hide his happiness. "Let's go, senpai."

"Okay... See you around, Momoi!"

"Mhm!"

There's a need to replicate what Momoi did, and as you two walk out of the gym, you wrap your arms around his left arm. There's a comforting warmth to it that leaves you wildly giddy.

"S-Senpai?"

"Do friends do this to each other?" you ask timidly.

He knows what you are referring to and is quick to dispel any concerns. "Momoi believes she can with her friends. To be honest, I do find it too much but that is how she operates."

"Oh, I understand." Your grasp lessens around his arm but he makes haste in keeping them there.

"I don't mind it if you do it."

His brazen confession leaves you stunned, but you recall how you are able to get away with almost anything when it came to Nijimura too. 'He really does consider me a close friend.'

With a bright smile, you hold onto his arm as you two walk down the road. There's an air of innocence to your actions but they prove to be fatal to the boy's heart.


	20. [M.20]Middle School: Diary Entry Twenty

"[Name]-senpai!"

You glance over your shoulder to see Kise jogging towards you. Your body stills the moment he makes it, his charming smile greeting you to no end.

"What do you want, Kise?" you grumble with an edge to your voice.

The moment you met the blonde you knew not to trust him. His outgoing attitude was but a farce with something darker hidden in the radiance of his smile. Nothing he said could be trusted which had you always on pins and needles around him.

"My uniform for tomorrow's match hasn't come in," he feigns a pout.

"You aren't getting a uniform yet."

"Huh? Why? I thought I earned it!" he exclaims with feigned surprise.

"Kise-kun, please leave her alone."

Kise glances around until his eyes meet with Kuroko's. The boy is firmly planted by your side and it takes Kise a few more seconds to register the his presence. "W-WOAH!"

Kuroko doesn't bother explaining to Kise that he had always been next to you and instead continues his protective advancement. "[Name] can't do anything about your uniform. Please do not ask her again."

"But she's the manager," Kise sighs. "In fact, isn't she the head manager?"

You don't answer, holding the clipboard closer to your chest. It's times like these when Nijimura would pull your annoyance away by the ear. But Kuroko tended to do things differently.

"Which means she has more important things to think about rather than your uniform," Kuroko states in a diplomatic fashion. "We have to go practice now before we head to the match."

Kise lets out a low groan as he finally relents. With a cold stare, he bows before leaving you alone. Once he's gone, you let out a sigh of relief.

"He's only been here a month and I still can't handle him," you laugh sheepishly.

"He's an interesting person," Kuroko nods his head. "Oh, Nijimura-senpai?"

You do a double-take when you notice your best friend's presence. He's glowering over you with an intense stare. "[Name]," he growls in a warning fashion.

You give him your most innocent smile as you know he saw the entire altercation.

"Weren't you going to stop relying on others for your problems?" he spits out. "You told me that I had nothing to worry about when I leave."

"You don't!"

"What was that then?"

You quickly glance at Kuroko, hoping that he would have left by now. However, he's taking his dedication towards you seriously and is cemented by your side. "Ahhh this is... a friend helping out a friend." You don't see Kuroko's protective demeanor deflate.

Nijimura scans you two and reads the situation instantly. "Don't tell me that now you have Kuroko protecting you. Is that what you meant? That I didn't have to worry because you **replaced**  me."

He's seething, and it's one of the first times you have ever seen him direct his anger at you. You feel a swell of emotions you can't handle as your fight begins to cause a commotion among your teammates. "Can we... talk about this outside?"

Nijimura grabs your wrist and pulls you away as requested. There isn't a person that doesn't have their attention on you, and your palms feel sweaty under their gazes. When he finally takes you to the side of the gym, his piercing gaze has you talking.

"I... am not having Kuroko replace you. How can you say something like that?"

"You lied to me," Nijimura continues. "You were just saying what you thought I wanted to hear so I wouldn't have to worry."

"What's wrong with that?!" you cry out. "I just wanted you to worry about your father."

"...Is that why you've been avoiding me for a month already?"

"I haven't."

"You've been sticking awfully close to Kuroko. Were you trying to create distance between us?" The more he speaks, the more everything begins to click in his brain.

"I'm trying to be considerate," you defend yourself. "You need to take care of your dad with no worries--"

"Cut the crap, [Name]. You're using Kuroko for your selfish gains." His anger dissipates, and all that's left in those gray optics is indifference. He's finally figured you out. "You can't continue doing this to people, especially someone who loves you like that."

Color drains from your face and it feels like your nerves have been electrocuted. "W-What?"

He's shocked by your reaction and tones down his reprimands, "Can't you tell how much he loves you?"  

You take a big gulp of air as you try to understand. "N-No. He loves me like how you love me."

Nijimura steels himself, "[Name], you're like a sister to me. To Kuroko, you're a woman."

"I was a woman to Minato-senpai. Are you saying that I'll be--"

"Think for yourself for once!" he shouts out in annoyance. "Do you really think Kuroko will treat you like how Minato did?"

"I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW WHAT BOYS WILL DO TO ME!" you scream to the top of your lungs. You've had had enough of these mind games, and you're falling apart. "I can't figure out Akashi, or Kise, or Aomine, or Midorima.. I've never understood Murasakibara and his food!"

"It's because you never gave them a chance," he counters. "You never tried to understand them."

"So what? I'm a horrible person who likes to lead on innocent people?" you bite out. "Does that make me a slut?!" The word is like poison to your tongue and comes out with a nasty ring to it.

Nijimura's eyes widen. "A s-slu--...Where did you come up with this stuff?"

"MINATO CALLED ME IT AND I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!"

You break down once more, and it's then that the cries of the broken are heard. Kuroko spectates from a distance where he hears everything crystal clear. Though his heart is tattered and ripped apart, he's more in pain that he couldn't fix you.

And in that day, you quit as head manager right before the playoffs.

Graduation safely arrives, and at the behest of Nijimura and your parents, you are enrolled in an all-girls school with Kuroko being a forgotten memory. It isn't until your second year of high school do you see the boy again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> A few things I want to mention:
> 
> 1.) I am using Kise from the manga in this story (and the entire series). He isn't as nice as he is in the anime and far more edgier(?). Also you can tell he has no respect for the reader here as he doesn't use the -cchi as the end. He can definitely see through her timidness and finds no worth in her.
> 
> 2.) What drove the reader to be apprehensive about boys is from being called a slut at the beginning. It's what played a part in majority of the story but it came to light now that her true feelings arose.
> 
> 3.)We are heading into the high school arc which will be a lot longer than the middle school. Now that we have the groundwork, it's time for the story to begin and for CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. :DDDD I will begin posting for the high school arc in August-ish. Thanks for reading!
> 
> If you enjoy it, please review! It will help immensely as I write out the high school saga. The rating may/may not go up seeing as we are exploring darker and more mature things, they're also teenagers lol... We shall see.


	21. [H.1]High School: Diary Entry One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy the start of the high school arc! Slow start but I promise it picks up and is totally worth it :3

**[High School, Second Year]**

"The girl's basketball team is playing in the finals. Are you going?"

Your eyes briefly flit over to the head manager of the team, Yuuka, a tall, curvy girl with corkscrew locks that frame her face; her default expression is always a serious one, and it reminds you of your best friend from middle school. Nothing went past her, not your antics nor those of your team members.

You pause what you were doing--sorting through the roster for the upcoming game-- and give her your full attention. "Oh, I can go."

"Good... You'll be okay, right? I know that the boys are having their own tournament in the same building."

You gasp and fervently shake your head. "I'll be fine! I'm not that scared of them anymore."

After your middle school graduation, your parents had you shipped off to an all-girls academy. With Nijimura gone in America and having discovered the trauma your experienced, he and your parents no longer felt comfortable having you in an environment with the opposite gender. You didn't have much say in the matter and accepted their decision without a word.

Fortunately, the girls in this academy didn't know your history. They only saw you as a shy, pretty girl with no social skills around boys. It was endearing to some but to others they saw it as a ploy to attract boys. Some girls tried to frazzle you, but you aligned yourself with the right crowd: the girl's basketball team.

Respected and with a can-do attitude, they were the sweethearts of the school. If anyone crossed them, they crossed the entirety of the school--faculty and students alike. You were in good company, surrounding yourself with people who respected your fear of boys.

The head manager was especially aware and empathetic to it, accommodating your fear to the best of her ability. However, she currently needed the extra set of hands. You knew and were more than willing to help.

"I can talk to them, and I'll be around you guys mostly. It's fine really," you continue when she gives you a doubtful look. "I'll be there on Saturday."

"If you say so," she finally relents with a sigh. "I'll text you the details later today."

You nod your head as you watch her leave the club room. "Winter Cup, huh... O-Oh gotta clean!"

_Nothing could go wrong tomorrow._


	22. [H.2] High School: Diary Entry Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Winter Cup so of course GOM is gonna be there :,)

It's the day of the tournament, and everyone arrives with jitters of excitement. This isn't the first time they've competed at such a scale. Judging by their faces, it wouldn't be their last either.

Once every team member is accounted for, you guys begin traveling into the building. You blend yourself into the group with your head hung low and eyes cemented on the ground. Once inside, you take a peek at your surroundings and notice how one side is dedicated to the girls and the other to the boys. Each group is on their respective side keeping their distance. You don't care to make eye contact with any male, trailing behind the group as they make their way to an open spot on the chairs.

"Are we going to watch the boys play?" Ayano asks with excitement. The team directs their attention to their point guard. She's taller than most girls with short, messy black hair and freckles that line her cheeks. There's minimal effort to her makeup, but her confidence is more than enough to make her charming to anyone. 

It doesn't take much to understand what she's after; just one look at those brown eyes, and you can see that glint showing her true intent: boys.

"Aya, we should focus on our game instead," Yuuka silences her. Due to her post as Aya's childhood friend, she makes it her mission to curb the girl's blazing interest in the opposite gender.

"But it's the Generation of Miracles!" Aya continues. "[Name], you were their manager. Aren't they amazing?"

You flinch at the mention of your peers, but you try to accept your past in Teiko as gracefully as possible. "They're strong, that's for sure." You mentally sigh with relief at having sounded composed.

"See! I think we can learn a lot by watching their game." Aya turns to face Yuuka, who appears pensive at the suggestion. "Let's watch one of their games and see if we can pick up any tricks they use."

Yuuka sends you a concerned stare. She's debating the pros and cons, but ultimately, the benefits outweigh your comfort. "Okay, just one game."

Aya jumps to her feet and rushes over to scan the board that held a list of the matches. "Right now, Yosen is playing... Don't they have that strong defense monster?"

An image of Murasakibara with a bag of marshmallows flashes into your mind. You recall how the boy never showed you an ounce of interest; he was more preoccupied with eating and playing basketball. He probably didn't even remember your name.

Just the thought of that makes you feel a tad bit calmer. _'I can deal with him if it comes to...'_

"Who are they playing against?" you ask in hopes of masking your nervousness.

"Uhh... Seirin?" Aya reads tentatively.

"Oh," you tilt your head. "I don't know them."

"Well, it's going to be good! Let's go!" Aya exclaims as she zips down the hallway and into the designated gym. Mildly interested, the rest of the team wordlessly follow. Once you make it to a row of available seats, your gaze wanders around the crowd of spectators. There's a pressure on your chest, but it isn't as suffocating as it used to be in middle school.

"Woah! They're crushing Seirin!" Aya shouts, bringing your attention towards the scoreboard.

'58-49' shines on the board in bright red. It doesn't come much as a shock to you, seeing as how Murasakibara is built. He was also part of a team in Teiko that crushed their opponents overwhelmingly.

The game's fate had already been decided long ago, and you feel no desire to care anymore. Your eyes begin their lazy observation of each member from the two teams; most are tall and muscular, others lean yet sturdy. All are male.

"Look at that crazy move! You really need the height for that," Aya points out. She's grabbing the edge of your sleeve and forcing you to pay attention. You just wanted to resign yourself from this moment and meditate in peace, not be reminded of the past you left behind.

However, the second your eyes land on one particular boy making a shot, your blood stills. Powder blue hair, small build, captivating eyes. You inspect him a little more, and the moment he smiles at his teammates, your hearts breaks into a million pieces. 

**_"K-K-Kuroko!"_ **


	23. [H.3] High School: Diary Entry Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time to see our favorite boy :,)

Fortunately, the game ended on a good note for Seirin. After four grueling quarters, they managed to conquer Yosen by a narrow margin, and the audience erupted into cheers at the surprising finish.

When you spotted Kuroko enthusiastically congratulated by his team, you broke out into sobs while clapping. Your team looked at you suspiciously, confused by your flurry of emotions--one second disinterested, the next wailing and yelling for a boy.

"So he was part of the Teiko team?" Yuuka asks as the group leaves the gym. 

You nod your head while dabbing the corners of your eyes with a tissue. "Yes, his name is Kuroko Tetsuya."

"I've heard of him," Aya speaks up, "but I never thought I'd see him in action. Personally, I prefer Teiko's ace!"

"Huh?" a deep voice rumbles behind you, and you jerk in surprise. "Isn't that [Name]?"

"Ohmigosh. It is!" a feminine voice joins in. Upon hearing your name, you turn your head and spot Aomine and Momoi, who are both headed your way. "[Name]-senpai!"

There's a guilt that throbs in your chest when you see them when you see anyone from your old team. You had left them right before they won their second nationals and ignored them throughout your last year at school. Momoi had attempted to speak to you every now and then, but after a while, her and the rest of the group ceased all communications. Maybe they realized that you wanted nothing to do with them?

However, those unresolved tensions don't seem to affect them as they waltz up to you with curious stares. "I'm so happy to see you!" Momoi hugs you, her affection for you oozing out.

You're grateful Aomine doesn't approach you the same way, greeting you with a cold, narrowed stare. It feels odd though; you recalled him being more lively and cheerful around you.

"H-Hello," you mumble out.

"You look prettier every time I see you," the pink-haired beauty gushes, despite her friend's obvious indifference. When she separates herself from you, she glances at the team behind you. They're all fidgeting while waiting to be introduced. Aya is especially star-struck as her body shakes with excitement. 

"You go to an all girl's school?" Momoi returns her attention to you.

"Yeah."

Her smile becomes warm, her energy lowering to adjust to yours. "That makes sense. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks. Uh how's everyone doing?" you awkwardly ask.

"You'd care to know?" Aomine's voice slices through the conversation and creates more unneeded tension.

Gulping, you take a step back. "A-Ah. Well..."

"Dai-chan! Don't be so rude to her! Akashi said it was really complicated what happened," Momoi reprimands him.

 _'Ah so that's what happened. Akashi stepped in...'_ you think to yourself.

He's unaffected by her years of chastising and merely picks at his ear, "Yeah, yeah. Are you going to see Tetsu now?"

You feel a surge of mixed emotions when he asks that. On one hand, you have this dying sensation to see him and return to that comforting friendship you had with him; on the other hand, you also want to avoid him and pretend like he never existed. It was a harsh sentiment, and due to your preferred method of handling problems (running away), you go with the latter.

"I have to go help out with warm-ups. Our first game starts soon," you supply an excuse.

Unfortunately, Aya isn't on the same page as you and jumps into the conversation. "[Name], catch up with your old friends, don't worry about us!" she coos, her eyes ogling the tan male. The rest of the team nods in agreement while marveling at the two.

"But I came here to help," you quickly add.

Yuuka comes to your rescue and interrupts by clearing her throat, "She has a point. I need her to help with getting you guys ready." You breathe out a sigh of relief as the girls quiet down. "We watched one match, let's get ready for ours now."

Aya pouts as if she were a child but relents her position. "Fiiine."

You force out a laugh as you return to Aomine and Momoi. Both are watching with reserved expressions. "Well, that's that... It was nice seeing you guys."

"Likewise, senpai," Momoi smiles. 

There's something behind her smile that has you on edge, but you push it to the far corners of your mind. Hopefully, there wouldn't be any more run-ins with the people from your past.


	24. [H.4] High School: Diary Entry Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one day cause i should be updating more frequently....

"I'm so relieved," Aya groans as she plops onto the locker room bench. Fatigue is stitched into her body, as well as the rest of the team. During the match, their stamina was heavily tested to a degree that had them aching. 

Sensing their pain, you glide over with boxes of lemon slices on hand. "It was an amazing game," you hum while handing out the energy food you made. 

Aya places a lemon slice in her mouth and moans with delight. Her energy begins to renew, and her beaming persona arises. "It was!!! And I tried using that move that we saw in the last game--"

"But you failed miserably," Yuuka's unimpressed tone cuts in as she sends Aya a glare. "The thing with those moves is that they take practice."

Aya grumbles and returns to eating the lemon slices. "Fine, fine."

The atmosphere becomes shrouded in comfortable silence as the rest of the team relax their muscles before heading to the showers. In order to not disturb their zen moment, you quickly mumble something before departing. "I'm leaving all your towels here. There's more in the bag over there."

"Wait, [Name]!" You pause in front of the door at the call of your name. "Do you think you can get us some of those popsicles from the convenience store?" Aya asks, her eyes glued to her phone screen as she types away furiously.

"Popsicles? I suppose." You tilt your head.

Yuuka lets out an exasperated sigh, "She isn't your errand girl!"

"She said it's fine... Nothing will happen to her," Aya defends herself in a monotone voice. "Doesn't she have pepper spray or something?"

You nod your head, a tense smile curling on your lips. "Yeah, I'll be fine. It's a short walk."

"I can go if you want," Yuuka adds.

"It's okay, I got this," you try to reassure her. She doesn't seem to buy it, but there's far too much for her to do, causing her to prioritize her work.

"Call if you need anything."

You send her a small smile and turn on your heel to leave. On your way out, you can faintly hear Yuuka reprimanding Aya for her inconsiderate request. Some join in, but you're already out of hearing range to hear the rest.

The cold air bites at your face once you make it outside. You wrap your coat closer to your body for more warmth yet the winter breeze proves to be stronger. A shiver shoots down your spine, but you persevere onwards determined for change.

See, the desire for normalcy has always been strong in your system. You didn't want to be that girl who couldn't take a few steps out of her house without feeling an immense amount of anxiety. You didn't want those pity stares, those judging words. You didn't want to experience those days where you remained in the house in fear of the outside world.

You want to change, and slowly but surely you've been advancing towards that goal. Aya's request is just another step forward, hence your little care for her bout of inconsideration.

You're taken out of your thoughts when you hear a scuffle from the distance. It causes you to walk faster and ignore whatever that's going on. 

"What the hell?"

You've already reached the last step of the gym's premises, but your blood runs cold upon hearing a familiar voice. Your hand instantly reaches down to your bag to grab the can of pepper spray. When you glance over your shoulder, your paranoia becomes confirmed and you freeze.

The person smirks as the step forward into the light. "You're still disgusted by me, huh?"

"H-Haizaki..." His name tastes like vomit as it rolls out your mouth. You're on edge, and the forming bump on his cheek isn't helping with your nerves. Although his appearance has changed drastically since last you saw him, he's still the violent sex offender you know him to be.

"Ahh man," Haizaki growls out, "I didn't think I'd be visited by all my pals from Teiko today... At least this face is easy to look at."

"Stop it." Your grip on the pepper spray tightens as you stand your ground.

"Are you still scared of guys?" He leers at you as you back away. "Can't you just take a compliment?"

"It... grosses me out when it comes from you."

His somewhat friendly attitude falls. "You little bitch."

"...I need to get going." You bow your head in hopes of escaping the angered boy. Your discomfort is as clear as day, and you pray that he doesn't try to capitalize on it.

"Where's the old bastard?" he calls out.

"I don't know who you're talking about--"

"Our beloved captain."

"Aka--"

He spits on the ground at the sound of that name. "Hell no. Nijimura!"

You step backwards. "He's okay."

His eyebrows raise when he realizes something. "How ya fending off boys without your protector?" Slowly, he stalks towards you.

"W-Why do you keep bothering me?" Your question sounds like a plea for help. Frustration paints your optics, and it's egging him on to continue.

"Because your reactions are adorable." Once his body is incredibly close to yours, he inspects your form in a manner that makes you feel violated. "And you've gotten sexier over the years."

"D-Disgusting."

"Come on, don't act like that." He's practically on you, and you're more than ready to spray him.

However, it appears that being saved is your calling and a voice flits through the scene. "Is that you, [Name]?"

Another surge of panic strikes you when you see a pair of bi-colored optics. "Akashi-san?"

"Shit, I'm outta here," Haizaki grumbles as he brushes past you.

You don't force him to stay, feeling more relieved to see him go. Though, there are more pressing matters to tend to. "Ah... Hello."

He walks down the steps until he's a comfortable distance from you. "It's been a while. How have you been?"

"Fine. Um, I need to get going. I have an errand to run," you try to weasel out of his presence.

"I see..." He nods his head slowly. "Will you be able to run your errands like that?"

"Like what?"

"You look shaken."

You feel a bead of sweat roll down your temple, and you swallow thickly. "Haha, I've never been good at dealing with Haizaki."

"Not many can. Have you spoken to Tetsuya--"

"S-Stop it!" you exclaim. There's guilt written all over your face, and you can't help but allow them to override your sensibility. "Enough... I don't want to hear it."

Akashi's eyes widen for a moment but he composes himself quickly. "I see. I'm sorry to have bothered you, [Name]. Be well then."

You turn to escape him, and he allows you to leave with some departing words. "I hope you can make it to our games, senpai. You haven't seen our growth."

You don't try to reply as you resume to running away from the boy. The thoughts of your teammates' requests now lay forgotten in the back of your mind as you hurry home.


End file.
